Million Dollar Wedding Cake

Today’s poem was supposed to be a recipe. I’m following the challenge here:

I wrote this based on years of cake-baking experience with my husband. He’s made dozens of birthday and wedding cakes that are delicious and beautiful, but people continue to expect something for nothing. 

(We’ve actually made this million dollar cake recipe a few times, and it really does make a good wedding cake.)

So here’s something humorous for those people. 

Million Dollar Wedding Cake

Oh, you’d like a cake for your wedding?
A dreaded, three-tiered,
sugar glass-topped
perfect nightmare.
But for only one-hundred dollars,
I presume.

Well, for that price,
I’ll give you a deal.
I’ll start with one pound of butter, softened,
room temperature, of course,
sprinkle in a bit of pain and time lost.
Three cups of sugar
six large eggs,
and my first ten gray hairs,
ripped from my head.
Next comes four cups of A.P. flour,
that’s all on purpose,
just for you
and one sleepless night,
make that two.
Three-fourths of a cup of milk
with just a smidgen of guilt.

One teaspoon each of
almond and vanilla extracts
and you still expect me
to crack my back
to give you this
million dollar pound cake
for one-hundred dollars flat.